just a suggestion

sometimes this job seems so easy.

...then i wake up.

so yesterday morning i got to class late and took a quiz i didn't study for. i forgot my coffee, my water, and was dead tired. then i decided to check my email. i had received one from a person from church back on sunday evening but i didn't feel like checking it then, so naturally, i thought i should check it now.

sigh.

when the first paragraph is a statement of general thanks for your efforts followed by the phrase "i don't presume to tell you how to do your job" you know you're in for some fun. what followed was a complete dismantling of my ministry.   ...though it was the nicest dismantling i've ever witnessed.

in the end, i found it extremely odd that this person, who did not wish to tell me how to do my job, ended the email with four imperatives and an emphatic "please."

something else i found out about this person: they used to be on the praise team about four years ago AND they have health problems, which means they have not been in church consistently.

because of this and other recent discoveries, i have a few of my own suggestions....

i move to change the bylaws on worship service comments....

1. henceforth, it is forbidden to use the "prayer request" bulletin tabs for "worship service critiques"

2. henceforth, it is forbidden to make negative comments on the music leader's consistent performance unless you have attended 7 out of 8 sundays

3. henceforth, all negative comments will be put in a drop box above the office paper shredder. the box will be bottomless.

4. henceforth, in order to critique the music, the person must be courageous enough to tell the leader in person or hold said comments to themselves. 

5. henceforth, for every desired change in the service, the critic must be willing to do five hours of community service for Jesus.

6. henceforth, once a critic has made a statement regarding their inability to do a job, they lose all rights to make further "suggestions." if they persist, they must put themselves in the aforementioned comment box.

finally,

7. henceforth, all critics will be taken away by an elder dressed as the grim reaper to the kindergarten room, where they must listen to the "bananas in pajamas" theme for seven solid hours.

do i have a second?

"i second."

all in favor?   

aye

aye

aye

mhm

NO! i refuse! (punch! smack!)      ....(weakly)  aye

the ayes have it.

motions carried.