help me webster. help, help me webster.

(the following conversation has absolutely nothing to do w/ my blog, it just needs to be written down for posterity and men everywhere)

7:40pm 

me: hey honey, im on my way home from work.

wife: ok. hey could you make me a coffee drink when you get home?

me: yea sure! i'll need to stop and get some milk on the way home.

wife: oh well, don't worry about it.

me: eh its no problem. take 2 min.

wife: no, no, dont worry about it. ... well, actually, could you just buy me a drink at 

starbucks?

me: yea,  no problem. i'll pick up some milk too.

wife: oh, no, no dont worry about it.

me: what? the drink or the milk?

wife: neither. just come home and i'll get milk later.

me: what? umm ok. you sure you dont want a drink from starbucks?

wife: yea im sure.

me: positive? completely sure?

wife: yea. im positive.     .... you could surprise me though.

sigh.

ANYway, on to the real blog....

so as my final term of purgatory (read: bible college) begins and i await the coming liberation (read: graduation), i begin to wonder what i'll be doing once im out. i've spent the last 4 years studying to become a "worship minister," only now that i'm so close to my goal, i begin to wonder what exactly a worship minister is.

what is this thing? i mean, a "preaching minister/senior minister" is pretty obvious, you preach and teach and deal primarily w/ adults. "youth and children's minister" are pretty self-explanatory. but worship minister??? i mean, what do you do? worship for people? (well sometimes, but we won't go into that!) 

and now, boys and girls, we turn to our friend Noah Webster!

my dictionary gives the following definition for "worship":

worship (wor-ship): n.  1. the feeling or expression of reverence and adoration for a deity.  2.  adoration or devotion comparable to religious homage, shown toward a principle.  3. (archaic) honor given to someone in recognition of their merit.

v. 1. to treat (someone or something) with the reverence and adoration appropriate to a deity.

incidentally, this is the definition for "minister":

minister (min-is-ter): n. 1. (archaic) a person or thing used to achieve or convey something.

v. 1. attend to the needs of someone.  2. (archaic) provide something necessary or helpful.

so, as a minister, what am i providing? how do i provide the "feeling or expression of reverence" for my small niche in the Church? 

the answer? 

i cant.

right.

so then, the question becomes, what exactly should i do as a worship minister?

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Apostle Paul)

right after he gets done telling us smelly gentiles to be thankful for our new standing with God as "ingrafted branches," Paul basically says that we must be careful or else we'll take it for granted and God will take away His blessing. then he breaks into song and follows with that little thing about "living sacrifices," about this idea of making every moment of our lives an act of worship to God (as ive heard so often, the problem with a living sacrifice is that it keeps jumping off the altar). 

[yea, yea i get the whole exegetical nugget of the word being more typical for  "service" not "worship" and that if "everything is worship then nothing is worship"... yet at the same time, our service to God is worship, and if we are truly, daily dying to ourselves, then our "death" is an act of worship.]

so once again, i ask, how do i minister to people through worship????

do i really believe that worship is more than music? then i must teach that!! (but how?) if i apply for a position as "worship minister" im most likely to be handed a mic and 15min of service and be expected to fill it with music. 

how do i teach one definition when my actions show another???

i fully believe that "teachers shall be judged more harshly" and i will answer for my future congregation's understanding of worship. so, how do i teach worship? what does that job look like?

hmmmm guess i need Someone besides Webster to help me.

jukebox

should i be paid to be a minister?

it's a simple question, yet one which has a thousand responses. 

"of course! this way you can completely focus on your task. 'the worker deserves his wages' after all!" 

"well yes. but it shouldn't be a stipulation to your service. 'godliness with contentment is great gain' after all."

"no! paul was a tentmaker and that should be good enough for you! after all, 'freely you have received, freely you must give.' "

of course my professors will say yes ... their whole lives have been funded by the giving of other christians; to further their ministries in both the pulpit and classroom.

 of course my parents and mentors will say yes ... their entire livelihood depends on the continued giving of their congregations.

but what about me? the question begins to hit a personal note when you are six months shy of graduating and entering full-time ministry -- when you are currently on the payroll of a church.

how does a faith whose hallmark is the "priesthood of all believers" find itself being directed by a select group of "paid theological experts"!?

and yet here i am, soon to be joining their ranks in a full-time position. 

am i hypocritical? am i a fraud? is it bogus for me to tell people to look into their bibles and discover God's Truth for themselves, only to correct them when they err? to beg them to take a personal interest in the One who is personally interested in them, only to explain them their shortcomings in that pursuit? one must give the restoration clergy credit, for it is really an ingenious system: champion a cause where the layman prays with his own voice to his Father, yet make sure to correct any inconsistencies in the words he choses with that which is accepted.

interesting thoughts. 

but thats not what i want to talk about.  ... well, not exactly.

i find myself in an interesting place. i am doing a job i emphatically believe that virtually any mature, music-minded volunteer can do and yet i am getting paid for it. i am working for a church which is so strapped for money that it puts a spending freeze on all ministries, yet it still has 3 part-time ministers, 2 full-time, and 1 full-time secretary. (oh sorry, "administrative assistant".) i have been trained to give people what they need to hear (to the meager extents of my knowledge and wisdom), yet i am unable to do so.  to give fresh perspective on biblical worship would require shaking people (and myself) out of their comfort zones. however, like all hard medicine, this pill will not easily--or willingly--be taken. the treatment must be administered by someone whom the people respect. someone with rapport. someone accepted by the congregation as the resident "theological specialist" on the issue.

...which leads to me.

what am i exactly? i certainly don't feel an expert or specialist on biblical worship. i believe i have some good ideas on the subject which will fluctuate and temper themselves with age and experience. i believe my studies and thoughts in the area to be rather extensive for a person of my age (without a "classic" education that is -- i'm sure 15th-century 22-year-olds could postulate circles around me!) 

... but i am no expert! 

so what am i?

well, i'm a 22 year old bible college student who plans 15min of music once a week and gets paid a part time salary for doing it. i have nothing intrinsically exciting to attract people to me. i have only trace amounts of charisma. i have little respect and possibly less rapport and most certainly am not looked at as an "expert" by the people. 

therefore, i do as i'm told and i don't rock the boat. when it's "suggested" i do more hymns, i do. when its "suggested" i do them the old style only, i (mostly) do. when it's "suggested" i talk less about communion (or just talk less in general) because that's "not my job," i do. 

i do as i am told, when i am told.  because that's why i'm paid. i am a jukebox. i am a lifeless, stationary object into which is deposited a weekly tithe of quarters and all that is asked of me is that i play the record which is selected by the loyal customer. american commercialism at its finest: we pay you for a service, and you render it to us in a speedy, satisfactory manner.  if we wanted someone with less musical talent and less "training" in the art of song picker-outery, we would get a volunteer. you are not paid to pastor people as they explore God's design for Christian worship. oh, no! you are paid to play music. but not just any music -- the music "they" want to hear. (now whether "they" is everyone in the congregation or those holding powerfully-strong strings tied conspicuously to purses is another matter entirely)

in essence, i am not a "worship pastor" but a "music minister". (hmm, maybe my baptist friend is right about the difference between "pastor" and "minister"... but thats another discussion for another day!)  don't misunderstand, i believe "ministering" is a vital job for every Christian. i believe we are all priests and must all have ministries. however, if we are truly to buy into this idea of picking out specific people to pastor the separate congregations of ministers, i say we trust them to pastor, and have faith that God will use them to minister to us as well.

i don't know what station this train of thought ends, but suffice it to say there is one jukebox which is about to come alive!